My Gay Agenda

I was recently asked why I feel the need to write my blog and post my personal experiences on the Internet. I was glad that I actually had to take a few days and crystallize this for myself. I hope that I’ll use these 3 purposes as guiderails for future posts:

1. TO CHALLENGE

My recent post, The Parable of Good Atheist, was not meant to demonize the straight people in my life, or put down the Christians I know. I do not feel that those I know have been unkind to me. (Sure, some have let friendships with me fall by the wayside when discovering that we share such different ideas about homosexuality, but most have been at least kind.) However, many times, in NYC, in Chicago, and in other cities I've visited, I have been yelled at from passing cars, "Faggot!" Even by my roommate last summer, who was himself gay, and I believe was dealing with a significant amount of self-hatred. So while I don't feel personal unkindness on a day-to-day basis, I feel that there is still so much intolerance in the world that I can't sit by and just let it happen. 

You may or may not have seen recent news posts about Pastor Charles Worley preaching that lesbians and queers should be put behind an electrified fence to die off: CLICK HERE. 

Or Pastor Dennis Leatherman saying that he kinda likes the idea of killing all the gays: CLICK HERE. 

I didn't write The Parable of the Good Atheist as a dig at straight people at all. Rather, I intended to challenge Christians (and according to the comments on my blog, straight Christians are my primary audience) that telling people "Jesus Loves You" simply isn't enough. Wasn't that what Jesus was saying with The Parable of the Good Samaritan? The Jews hated the Samaritans and vice versa, and Jesus was telling them that the man who is really showing God's love is the one who shows his love through action. Is the church showing homosexuals God's love by protesting outside funerals (CLICK HERE) or by preaching against them? While nobody in my family or immediate friends are participating in these things, might they be sitting by quietly as jokes about gays are made and saying nothing? As Edmund Burke said, "The only thing necessary for the triumph [of evil] is for good men to do nothing." If my readers hear the guys at the office telling a dirty joke about gays, do they stop them and say that it's inappropriate? Until I can be sure, I feel I need to keep offering up the challenge, and the chance to think about the issue. 

I recently read a Pierre Reverdy quote: "There is no love. There are only proofs of love." And DCTalk said it this way: "Love is a verb." So many people in my life have always showed God's love in tangible ways, on mission trips to the far corners of the world, and hosting dinners for the homeless of their communities! But what I wanted to challenge my readers to think about was whether they're doing enough to help the hurting people in their own community, the people they walk by on a daily basis. I offer this challenge to myself as well! Am I showing love to the people I meet on a daily basis? Am I walking past opportunities to do the right thing? I don’t sit in judgment; I sit in the same boat and question myself!  

2. TO HUMANIZE

I am writing from my personal experience because I believe that people can learn better from another person's personal experience than they can from a textbook or 3-point sermon. If I can encourage any kid who's struggling with homosexuality to encourage them that "It Gets Better," I feel that's what I need to do. If I can help any of my friends make the lives of their children easier by sharing the shame I grew up with over my homosexuality, I feel that it's my duty.

A few summers ago, a friend started going out to festivals in Chicago and offering to screenprint these words on anyone’s t-shirt: “I’M A HOMO YOU KNOW.” It could be read 2 ways: 1) I’m gay, in case you didn’t know. OR 2) I’m a gay person that you know personally. The point was to humanize homosexuals for the people in their lives. I once heard that shooters in a hostage situation grow less likely to shoot a person as they grow to know more about them: their name, details about their family, etc. The hostage becomes a human in the murderer’s eyes. The screenprinters believed that if people thought of an individual they know who is gay rather than “the gays,” with all the stereotypes and negative connotations, they would be more likely to side with us when voting on gay marriage issues or even just having conversations over dinner.

I am David Baldwin. I’ve held the babies of some of my readers. I’m shy sometimes, outgoing at others. I am a loyal friend. Most of you know how much I want to fall in love and be a good boyfriend, then husband. You know how desperately I want to have children and raise a family of my own. I am not a heterophobe. I have so many wonderful straight people in my life, whom I love. And I would NEVER ask them to be anything different! I prayed for 10 years for God to change me before I came to the conclusion that GOD MADE ME GAY! I am fearfully and wonderfully made, just the way God wanted me to be! I didn't wake up one day and decide that I wanted to be gay, any more than the straight people I know woke up one day and decided to be straight. It was BEYOND OUR CONTROL! And I would never ask any of you to change it. 

This is me. And when, someday, you go into a voting booth and are asked whether gay marriage should be legalized, I want you to think of me, David Baldwin. Do you think that David Baldwin should be allowed to commit himself to someone he truly loves and promise to love and cherish that person? I hope that’s what the issue will become for people who know me. Not about “the gays” but about the homo you know: ME.

3. TO ENCOURAGE

I am working on finding ways to apply more of Jesus' teaching, and the teaching of many other spiritual leaders, in my life, by being a better boss, neighbor, friend, and person. I truly believe that Jesus would be sitting down to dinner with homosexuals, just as he did with the tax-collectors and prostitutes. He wouldn't pull away and focus on fellowship with only like-minded people the way I feel too many people of the church are doing. 

I’m learning so much from things I’m reading, from challenging myself by moving to NYC, and from thinking back on the experiences of my youth. I want to share these things in a way that encourages others. I continue to be astonished by the 700+ people who’ve read “Three Things Your (Gay) Christian Kid Needs to Hear from You” and the thanks I’ve received from so many who appreciate it, for whatever reason it touched them. ALL of the feedback has been positive, and this encourages me to believe that sharing my experience CAN make a difference. 

I am working to become the best version of me: physically and spiritually, and writing about it helps me to work through some of the issues. Putting in on the Internet gives me the hope that I can encourage someone else through my experience. I've even gotten a lot of good feedback on the Facebook event I recently created encouraging people to exercise with me every day (Jumpstart June: An Active Challenge). I'm trying to do good for other people, to be a source of encouragement!

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how I can give back more, how I can make a difference in my community (including Brooklyn, the “gay community,” my online social network community, etc.) and how I can be a force for good. Blogging is something little I can do to move in the right direction, I hope, until I can come up with something more significant. Thank you to everyone who has encouraged me, and to everyone who reads and shares my posts. As they say: “if I made a difference even for one person, it was worth it.” I look forward to sharing more with you over the coming months.